Yes, I'm fine. My muse simply took a vacation this week.

Several of you have asked about work: has my new state of mind persisted, am I okay, etc. The answer is yes, more or less. I discovered, once the initial elation subsided, that at root this perspective was one that required a daily dose of will to maintain. I don't mean the one-finger-left-on-the-crumbling-cliff-but-must-hang-on kind of will, but rather seeing the connection between that overall perspective and the daily activities that either fuel or sap it, and making the right choices on a micro level.

I'm working on a particular database project at work, and I discover that another person, one level up from me in position and respect, is working on the same thing from a different angle. This is a faculty evaluation database -- where we can track folks' teaching over time. This data is of course used in hiring, development and retention decisions. Now, I'm working on it from the online perspective, which is complicated and requires a subtlety to the design of both the back end as well as the user interface. This other person is coming at it from the traditional face-to-face perspective, as we have multiple campuses with traditional classes.

You'd think that this person would approach me to talk about this before starting in. You'd be wrong, Gentle Reader.

So my initial reaction was of course bitter resent and anger. This person is known to be presumptive and condescending, and this is coupled with managerial incompetence. We aren't actually clear on what it is that the person really does. I sent my scope document to my boss, who told me that it was more or less identical to what Person X had done in scope. My document has more detail, however, and serves as a better framework for our IT guys to work with. So my boss says that I should contact Person X and we should work together to get this done. He then proceeds to send what I'd written to Person X.

I get an email from Person X, saying that my boss had sent the documents to them and that Person X looked forward to discussing them with me, and that Person X would be at such and such a location and that I should call to discuss them.

Now, I want to simply kick Person X's opinion to the curb, because I find Person X is amusingly unable to speak with authority about how to actually do anything around here. There's a danger that what I have done could be absorbed by Person X, and Person X gets the recognition for it.

Nevertheless, the fact is that at the end of the day, the project desperately needs doing, and that's where I'm choosing to put my focus. My life will be made better by the project completion.

I realized yesterday morning that I've fallen into the habit of believing the worst about colleagues without much evidence at all. It's as if my initial response is suspicion and cynicism. Not that cynicism is alien to me at all, but initial suspicion and distrust is. I didn't used to make snap judgements about people. Person X above is a case in point. Why do I think that person is incompetent and disingenuous? The fact is that all of my interactions with Person X have been fine, even pleasant.

I'm awakening to the need to have some faith in folks. It isn't native to the work environment I'm in, outside of ridiculous slogans and company mission statements. But it has been native to me. And it should be, again.