So as the end of the year fast approaches, I'm once again contemplating the possibility of blog redesign.

Don't get me wrong; I like my blog, and the look and feel it has. I'm wondering, though, what if anything I might do for a change.

Anybody out there have suggestions? New graphics, new color scheme/tones, layout, etc.?

I have plenty of great ideas for blog posts in the shower or while driving. When I'm here at the laptop, though, I have nothing to say of value. In fact, the thought of writing depresses me utterly.

Someone asked me today: "Are you a writer?" I had to think about that. I guess the answer is yes, in very limited contexts. In ways like the AMAKS posts I referenced in my last posting. In the kind of badinage in which I indulge on the Red Hot Pawn forums. In stupid but carefully crafted email postings I send to people.

I guess that's why the Google Groups feature was so delightful to discover. I felt like a part of my writing was recovered.

My writing style has always been more or less exploratory, and I've long subscribed to the old E.M. Forster question: "How do I know what I think until I see what I say?"

But when I find myself with nothing to write, it makes me think that I'm not really thinking, either. Reminds me of the old joke about Descartes walking into a bar: the barman asks him if he wants the usual. He replies, "I think not," and instantly disappears. Har har.

I recently joined a new clan on RHP -- the Guttersnipes. You might recall my mentioning them in a post some months back (July 15 2006) for a funny comic they wrote. So far it's been a treat to get to know the biggest smartasses on the site. And to join their ranks, of course.

I just found out that Google Groups lets you read archived usenet postings dating back to 1981!

Back in the mid to late 90s, I was heavily involved in Shotokan karate, and participated regularly in the usenet group alt.martial-arts.karate.shotokan. It's where I really cut my teeth in terms of how to argue online and debate topics in an electronic forum. I went and ransacked the archives for my old posts, and I wanted to sit down and cry reading some of those old exchanges. I don't get much of that anymore, and it made me remember a fire I walked away from a long time ago. What fun!

Below is one of my favorite old posts from that time. The context is that some noob came on and started talking about karate in defensive, wearing-blinders-about-what-karate-is fashion, and I pretty much beat him down online. Enjoy!

Subject changed: ^v^ Emperor's New Clothes; was ^v^Akira Kurosawa Films

Date: Tues, Sep 22 1998 12:00 am
Groups: alt.martial-arts.karate.shotokan

On Tue, 22 Sep 1998, Kyle Charity wrote:
> Karate and the like also teach about winning
> an encounter without resorting to violence.

No "they" don't. See Shawn's reply to Sensei Viper. Karate doesn't teach you anything. Karate is an amorphous concept that floats around in the cultural unconscious of martial artists. Karate doesn't really ever show up in the fabric of reality; it's an idea label we slap onto some regimented physical movements to give them meaning and to keep ourselves from feeling the natural silliness that comes from wearing Japanese pajamas in public.

People -- your instructors -- teach you things. They teach you what they know, and what they hold to be true. You will not get a clean transmission of either technique or ideology from a person -- at best you get a deflected impression of what karate "is" and what it's "about" or "for." Usually what you get is dimestore Zen.

Think about it: we like to say that karate is

• a system of self-defense
• a path to perfecting/completing character
• a way of life
• a method of learning to win barfights

But all of the above are founded on the idea that we can isolate what is and isn't karate, that karate has boundaries and is somehow a whole, a coherent thing. It is not, as a quick look at other dojos will tell you.

And we hate that, don't we? We don't like the thought that what we call karate is only karate because we call it that. That's why we train in groups: training by yourself, it's hard to keep believing in the dream of karate. It's difficult to keep telling yourself "this extension of my arm and focused muscle contraction coordinated with turning my clenched hand at the last second -- that's actually a punch, and it's part of the way/method/path/system of karate, so I can quit feeling stupid."

That's why traditional m.a.s cling to tradition and the exploitative systems of organization that govern them -- without them, what gives these physical movements meaning? In that situation a person can't afford to wake up and smell the coffee; too much is at stake.

"Karate" and other such signifiers are the emperor's new clothes. Because of the baggage we load onto these names, we can't see what the rest of the public sees when they see karate players: weird goofballs who have some kind of hangup regarding lumber and other breakable materials. There's a reason people walk past strip mall dojos and mock the sweating students inside with Bruce Lee sound effects. And guess what? It's a good reason.

> Also, I suspect that any Karate Sensei worth his salt would
> tell you that Karate and Self-Defence is not about
> "Beating People Up".

That's right. He would. And you know why? Because we think that karate senseis should be measured by their ability not to teach karate, but to "foster the spirit of karate"; that is, to promulgate the mythos of karate. So somebody who can drop you in two seconds is not necessarily a karate sensei, even if he can teach you to do so using physical motions reminiscent of Asian martial arts. However, if he suddenly becomes pensive, takes you aside and solemnly says, "this technique I'm teaching
you? Never do this to another living soul, but live in harmony with all people, plants, and minerals," suddenly the Sensei emerges.

Rant is over.

-blakbuzzrd
Performer of physical motions that are fictionally informed by the term "Karate," and made comparatively superior to other groups of strange physical motions by the modifier "Shotokan"

(Wipes tears away) Wheeew! That takes me back.